HELB DENY DEFAULTERS MARRIAGE RITES

Kenya’s Higher Education Loans Board (HELB), the country’s main financier of students in institutions of higher learning, plans to block couples from getting married until they get clearance from the loans board, local media outlet CapitalFM reports.
According to the reports, HELB’s CEO Charles Ringera says the Board is working together with the Attorney General’s office to compel defaulters to pay their loans before they can get married.
The plans will see beneficiaries of the HELB loans fail to get their marriage certificates before they obtain clearance from the Board.
‘I beseech those who are working to get in touch with our office in order to be aided to start the reimbursement process so that others can also benefit,’ Ringera is reported to have said.

UNIVERSITY OF NAIROBI TO CONSTRUCT ANOTHER NEW STATE OF THE ART TOWER BY CHINESE GOVERNMENT

The University of Nairobi has signed an implementation agreement on the construction of the state-of-the-art Confucius Institute Building at the university by the government of China.
The signing ceremony at which UoN was led by Vice-chancellor Prof Peter Mbithi took place in the office of the Executive Bureau of International Economic Cooperation Ministry of Commerce, Beijing, China, last week.
The agreement is as a result of exchange notes between the governments of Kenya and the People’s Republic of China dated July 22, 2015, stipulating the Chinese government undertaking the project. The cost of the development will be Sh2 billion.
The building will consist of teaching theatres, office facilities, students’ dormitory and other public function areas. It will cater for at least 2,000 students. The construction of the buildings is scheduled to commence before March 2017 and will take not more than 18 months to completion.
Those who accompanied the VC to China during the signing ceremony included Prof Isaac Meroka Mbeche, Deputy Vice Chancellor (Administration & Finance); Prof Guo Hong, director, Confucius Institute; Tracisio Thuita, estate manager, Arch Jarrett Onyango Odwallo, manager construction and maintenance and who is also resident architect; Fredrick Collins Omondi, senior legal officer on the Kenyan side; and the Executive Bureau of International Economic Cooperation Ministry of Commerce, China.

CYRUS JIRONGO TALKS OVER THE RETURN OF ASSASSINATIONS IN KENYA

"Today's discovery in Machakos County of the bodies of lawyer, Willie Kimani; his client, Josphat Mwenda; and their taxi driver, Joseph Muiruri is a huge stain on the conscience of this nation.

The death of the three who were last seen returning from a hearing at Mavoko Law Courts, on June 23rd, is frightening as it is alarming of a dangerous path this country is taking. The brazen disappearing and murder of a witness, a taxi driver and a well-known human rights defender is well beyond any known boundaries for any country that talks about the rule of law. Of serious concern is the fact that the court hearing had raised questions of police misuse of firearms and threats against witnesses.

I have severally alerted Kenyans to be aware of the growing pattern of violence and assassinations as a means of solving disputes, silencing commercial and political opponents, and defeating the course of Justice.

Today's discovery cannot and should not be seen in isolation of similar events. Several deaths have occurred in the last one year that point to the phenomenon I have warned about. The complicity of organs of government in either the deaths or the subsequent cover ups must be interrogated urgently before we all sink into the abyss of bloody violence as means of resolving disputes between citizens and those in authority who legally control instruments of violence. The evidence of psychopathic torture on the bodies of the victims is as sickening as it is a wakeup call for us as countrymen to ask ourselves deep serious questions.

The murder of the three Kenyans while in pursuit of justice against official malpractice, the murder and cover up of Jacob Juma's death as a response to his revelations about economic crimes, the murder of my daughter's friend on June 1st as a warning to me for pointing out the cover up in Jacob Juma's assassination, must be condemned by any sober person who cares for this country.

We as citizens of Kenya must demand accountability from our government with a clear reminder that not one Kenyan is above the law, no one has a right to terminate another citizen's life extrajudicially, and those mandated to be in charge of our security must never be excused or let off when they turn the weapons they hold in trust against Kenyans to protect selfish personal interests."

KALENJIN YOUTHS LIVING AROUND NAIROBI DEFECT TO ODM

More Kalenjin youths living around Nairobi area has today visited Orange house crying fall of mistreatment by the Jubilee administration.This has led to many of the youths defecting from Jubilee to CORD as they believe and have faith in Raila Odinga as a stateman who does not believe in malignment and discrimination of a particular tribe.In their statement regarding their defect, They had this press statement,
"For the past one month, members of the Kalenjin Community have been left in a state of suspended animation with regard to the political future of the community.
Statements have been thrown left, right and centre by notable persons holding positions of influence all aimed at sending signals that we as Kalenjin community are not guaranteed their support in the 2022 general election.
As the great philosopher Mark Twain once said “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” First it was political activist Mr. Tony Gachoka who sparked the controversy. We thought he was joking. Then came Kiambu Governor Mr. William Kabogo with similar sentiments and now a TNA nominated Senator Mr. Paul Njoroge. We know the game. We can’t wait to be humiliated at the eleventh hour. Waswahili husema, AKUFUKUZAYE HAKWAMBII TOKA.
We want to state here that we were in ODM. We were the founder members of the ODM party. We were misled to leave the party in 2013 because of one’s selfish interests. We were promised heaven, only to be subjected to hell. These three years have been like persevering an abusive marriage.
We don’t want to be hurt anymore. We have decided to come back home. We know, it is only through ODM that our community can get power once more. We therefore undertake to mobilize support for the Rt. Hon. Raila Odinga in the entire Rift Valley region for the 2017 general election.
We are now convinced that the Jubilee alliance is between individuals and not communities. We must choose to stand up and be counted. We want to be on the right side of history."

CORD STATEMENT: EMERGING CLIMATE OF FEAR AND CRACKDOWN ON FREE SPEECH

We wish to draw the attention of Kenyans and the international community to the crisis of governance that is taking roots in our country.
This crisis is taking the form of a slow but steady slide to dictatorship through a crackdown on free speech in the name of national security and public order.
The move has taken a more ominous turn as the government has struggled to prevent the release and dissemination of incriminating evidence concerning corruption involving top government officials.
The efforts have included the push to undermine the independence of the judiciary, to stifle freedom of the media, and the peddling of various conspiracy theories to blackmail and silence critical voices.
One such conspiracy theory came from the Ministry of Interior a few weeks ago that CORD is working with regional states to destabilize the country, a claim that has never been substantiated and for which no one has been arrested and charged. We have seen new, restrictive moves against social media activists in ways that are undoubtedly authoritarian and repressive.
This pattern is definitely a hint of desperation. But it poses grave danger to our stability and basic and fundamental freedoms as we race towards election in a year’s time and well into the future. Some of what we are witnessing amount to the suspension of the constitution, illegal declaration of state of emergency and emergence of rule by decree.
Kenya is sliding into a society in which the government is directly threatening opposition politicians, depriving them of freedom of speech and assembly in public and other places, as well as fabricating trumped up charges against opposition leaders. Persistent threats have become everyday things in the life of the opposition. Everybody who calls for accountability, equity, fairness in government immediately becomes an enemy of the regime.
A few days ago a Member of Parliament called for Rt. Hon Raila Odinga’s assassination. In Nakuru, a Member of Parliament called for the forceful eviction and relocation of members of other communities from the town and its environs. In both cases, the Jubilee regime saw no need to act, until our members protested.
Then the Members of Parliament who called on the State to guarantee the security of all Kenyans and challenged the President to play his rightful role as everyone’s president became accused of hate speech. Together with their colleagues whom they had complained against, they have been held incommunicado, essentially unofficially detained without trial.
We are not going to waste time blaming individual leaders and institutions of government. The current state of the arbitrary exercise of power and disregard of democratic principles falls on the feet of the President.
The author of the political repression and reckless violation of the Rule of Law and the Bill of Rights is the tenant at State House. He has transformed the police force into a personal militia ever on the ready to interfere with legitimate political activity and encouraged the subversion of constitutional organs ranging from the Judiciary, Parliament and independent office and commissions.
Under the circumstances, CORD demands the immediate release of all its members of Parliament without charge or any other conditions failure of which we shall undertake the following:
1. We will resume our national demonstrations and protests on Monday, 20th June, 2016.
2. We will cease all engagements in dialogue in respect of IEBC and instead intensify the demonstrations and protests.
3. We will declare the CORD legislators to be political prisoners and hold a public meeting and a vigil at the Freedom Corner on Saturday, 18th June, 2016.
4. We shall hold a prayer service for our political prisoners in Machakos town on Sunday 19th June, 2016.

THIS ARE THE POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT NYANZA THAT RESEARCHERS WILL NEVER TELL YOU

Nyanza has never ever requested for food aid despite all former Presidents trying to grind it down to poverty due to its stand on democratic rights of all Kenyans, North Eastern and Eastern leads in food aid.
Nyanza has the least cases of bizarre killings, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least drug abuse prevalence levels, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least number of rape cases, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least number of bestiality cases, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least number of mentally deranged persons, Western leads.
Nyanza has the least rate of crime, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least rate of jigger infestation, Central leads.
Nyanza has least numbers of inter clan clashes, North Eastern leads.
Nyanza has the least number of hunger caused deaths, Rift Valley leads.
Nyanza has made the highest contribution for the political reforms in this country, Central has done the greatest damage.
Nyanza has professional clergies, pastors and Bishops , Central leads with conmen in disguise of Bishops clergies etc including Cardinal Njue who supports impunity, corruption and oppression.
Nyanza has respectable churches , central leads with funny churches
Nyanza has no cases of Shosho rapes, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least land grabs and the least IDPs, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least number of Chokoras, Nairobi leads and most of them are from Central.
Nyanza has the least cases of gay men, Central leads.
Nyanza has the least cases of prostitutes, Nairobi leads and most of them are from Central.
Nyanza men have no problem with infertility due to alcoholism, Central leads with infertile men due to alcoholism, according to Mututho and NACADA.
Yes Nyanza leads in Aids cases, But Central is second according to IRIN humanitarian and analysis ( a service of the UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs).
Nyanza, Western and Rift Valley lead in sportsmen representing Kenya locally and internationally and showing the country in the right picture/light, Central has the least number of people putting the country in the right light and more so the least sportsmen.
Nyanza leads in literacy and learned people despite successive governments neglect and ethnic discrimination. , Central has one of the least levels of literacy despite having 3 Presidents and rich people able to invest in education of the region.
Nyanza has the least cases of men beaten by their wives, Central leads.
What did I leave out?

PETER KENNETHS LETTER TO IEBC CHAIR

AN OPEN LETTER TO ISSACK HASSAN AND IEBC COMMISSIONERS
It’s time
It’s time for you to step down and let the country move forward, how many more people shall die, get injured, businesses destroyed?

There are serious doubts over IEBC’s ability to preside over a free election in this country, without the results being clouded with doubts.
It you have not noticed the political debate is no longer about whether you will leave but the mechanics of your exit and how to replace you.
Forget the politics; forget the protests-the ultimate truth is your exit is already a foregone conclusion. It is a matter of when not if.
Do the honourable thing. EXIT
Save the government the tear gas and the bullets; save the protesters the energy and tears and the country the pointless drama.
Do the honourable thing. EXIT
Put country first; The country is Greater.

THIS IS WHY ABABU NAMWAMABA IS SILENT ON ANTI IEBC DEMOS

According to a post in social Media, 

ABABU NAMWAMBA OWES DP RUTO LOTS OF MONEY PAID TO HIM TO DISTABILISE ODM FROM WITHIN DURING THE FAILED ODM ELECTIONS IN KASARANI IN 2014. HE FAILED AND HE IS NOW A MAN HELD AT RANSON. THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T SEE HIM IN ANTI-IEBC DEMOS.

Ababu was PAID millions of shillings to weaken ODM from inside and eventually hand over ODM to Ruto. This was when he was known in ODM circles as a MOLE. He however failed miserably to do so in Kasarani during ODM National Elections in 2014 when MIB saved the situation. His "team fresh" was defeated. He was given millions of shillings plus a helicopter and property as pre-payment by Ruto to do all this work. We have seen an increase in Ababu's financial and property portfolio with him now owning among others a Karen home worth over Kshs 250million. If he succeeded, much more cash and other things was promised to follow. He was also promised to deputise Ruto in Ruto's quest for the presidency on condition that he delivers the Luhya votes in one bloc due to the rich luhya voting bloc. Ababu is now in a big dilemma on how to move on politically. On one side, he has been given this great position of Sec. Gen. by Baba and on the other hand, he owes DP Ruto millions of shillings which if he openly and loudly goes against Ruto, he will be compelled to pay back ASAP as he did not deliver on his promise.

THE ROT IN UNIVERSITY OF NAIROBI ACCORDING TO CONSUMER FEDERATION OF KENYA (COFEK)

We have since Friday, May 27, 2016 been unable to reach you on your respective cellphones. Be that as it may, and in line with Article 35 of the Constitution, we hereby request to hear from you urgently regarding the following matters;

1. University Council Membership 

• The resignation of Dr Betty Gikonyo and Mr Joseph Dena. In particular, the resignation letter of Mr Dena to Education Cabinet Secretary on November 25, 2015 raises fundamental questions of non-compliance with the law. What action was taken as a result – to professionalize the operations of the Council?
• Why are two members, being public servants at the Teachers Service Commission and Moi University, continuing to sit on the UoN Council contrary to the circular by Chief of Staff and Head of the Public Service dated February 3, 2016?
• Whether or not Dr Sanjay Advani is a Kenyan national and if yes, provide a copy of his national ID and or his Passport.
• Why the Chairman of University Council, himself with uncleared graft allegations against him at the National Museums of Kenya, sits as Chairman of the University of Nairobi Enterprise Services Ltd – a clear conflict of interest.
• Why Prof Peter Mulwa Felix Mbithi, Vice Chancellor, attended (and later excused himself) the special meeting of the UoN Council held on Monday, May 23^rd at 7.30 am in the Council Chambers to consider the disciplinary case of Prof Bernard N.K Njoroge, Deputy Vice Chancellor (Administration and Finance) when he is an obvious interested party in the matter. It was the only agenda. 
• Whether the allegations of the said special UoN Council meeting, as recorded under Minute 5(a) and as read together with Minute 5(c) constitute gross misconduct threshold sufficient to have high ranking officer, in the history of the UoN, to be recommended for sacking “with immediate effect”.
• Why there appears to be a dysfunctional Council between members listed in Minute 5(c) and those under Minute 5(d) of the special UoN Council meeting
• Why on many occasions, the Vice Chancellor has been communicating directly to the DVC(A&F) supposedly on behalf of the UoN Council when the said Prof Mbithi is an interested party in the said disciplinary process.
• Whether it was the said DVC (A&F) who may have “leaked the minutes of the special UoN Council as to occasion the erroneous reporting in the “Saturday Nation” of May 28, 2016 which article alleged that DVC(A&F) had been sacked. An ambiguous retraction by the UoN via a paid advertisement on Sunday, May 29, 2016 could not elaborate clearly on an issue of such immense public interest. 

2. Appointment and Terms of Service of DVC (A&F) 

• According to the appointment letter by CS for Education Prof Jacob T. Kaimenyi of April 30, 2016 it was stated that the “terms and conditions of the service shall be provided for in the contract document provided by the Council of the University”. Are the said terms determined by the Council and or Statute V? If no/yes, what is the process and frequency of amending the said terms between various office holders of the office of the DVC (A&F)?
• In the letter of November 27, 2015 suspending DVC(A&F) under Ref: CoC/06/27112015, Chairman of Council stated that the said DVC (A&F) will only be entitled to house and medical allowances. Is this the standard rate of entitlements for staff on suspension, particularly as provided for by the Employment Act and related labour laws? Were the said allowances ever paid?
• The Chairman of Council letter to the DVC(A&F) of August 10, 2015 under subject “Gross Misconduct/Show Cause Letter” appears to suggest that the said DVC (A&F) ought to comply with all instructions of the Vice Chancellor. Does that requirement include unlawful and unethical instructions as long as they are issued by VC to the said DVC(A&F)?
• The “Cappings of the University Expenditure”, letter dated August 3, 2015 by the Vice Chancellor to the said DVC (A&F) are in sharp contrast with the bold notes on all UoN payment vouchers which state that either the DVC/VC can approve amounts “over Sh100,000”. 

3. Expenditures – Process and Approvals 

• What is the policy on “Accountable advance” eg the case in which the Estates Manager vide Internal Memo of May 21, 2015 seeks Sh200,000 for assorted items for the Vice Chancellor’s Mandera Road official residence? This is in addition to Sh6,000,000 for furniture? Why should such items be procured through restricted tendering?
• Why regular consultancy payments to one Prof Timothy Waema, a staff at UoN, e.g his July 13, 2015 memo to DVC(AA) under Ref SCI/APM/TMW was Sh400,000 for (eight days!) alleged development of a “strategic plan for Mombasa Law Campus”. Can one person purport to put up a strategic plan? How is expertise related to the law school? 

4. University Expenses on Rattansi Education Trust “donated office” 

The internal memo from UoN Estates Manager directly to the Vice Chancellor on July 27, 2015 under Ref UoN/CA/EST sought permission, which was approved by the same Vice Chancellor on July 28, 2015, to spend Sh1,666,800 on alleged repairs on an office donated by the Trust. Incidentally, Vijoo Rattansi is the Chancellor of the University. On what basis was the costly offer accepted? Why was the “Advancement Directorate” placed out of the University premises? Was it a lease and or under what circumstances was the arrangement agreed to? Again, why and on what basis was one Brian, a PA to the Chancellor appointed Deputy Director of the said “Advancement Directorate”? What was the role of the said “Directorate” and when did the University Senate approve its’ creation? We have since spoken to Ms Rattansi but her responses were not sufficient.

5. Vice Chancellor’s Hotel Expenses in Machakos 

Why and how did the University of Nairobi pay Gelian Hotel in Machakos County Sh30,000 per night for the Vice Chancellor for use of what the hotel calls “Presidential Suite” when the SRC limit for the Vice Chancellor’s equivalent of Job Group “U” is much less? 

6. Cow gifts to various state/public officers 

Why did a Farm Manager Dr T.O Abuom at the UoN College of Agriculture and Veterinary Sciences (CAVs) write directly to a Finance Manager at Main Campus on February 9, 2016? Where was the Principal, CAVs? The Vice Chancellor approved the same on February 23, 2016. According to Invoice No. 27010 of UNES of January 22, 2015 the University paid Sh100,000 each for 2 Freshian cows and Sh90,000 each for 2 Ayrshire cows at a total of Sh380,000.
Why were the University funds used to procure the cows “gifts” for what was announced as ‘personal gifts” from the Vice Chancellor on the January 14, 2015 event? We have since spoken to former Education Cabinet Secretary Prof Jacob Kaimenyi who denied having ever received a cow. Former Vice Chancellor Prof George Magoha confirmed, without giving the exact number of the said cows, although he reported that they all died. How many, if any, were retained by the Vice Chancellor?

7. Double Payments for Per Diems by and for Vice Chancellor 

A memo by Prof Isaac Kibwage, Principal CHS to Vice Chancellor dated September 3, 2015 under Ref: UON/CHS/OBS&GYNAE-PRIME-K/7/3/2 asked for approval of US$11,176 to the Vice Chancellor for the both to travel to US for an event the University of Washington, Department of Global Health confirmed by its letter dated July 27, 2015 to have fully paid for.
The same letter is actually addressed to Vice Chancellor Prof Peter Mulwa Felix Mbithi. It states in part thus: “Your accommodation while in Seattle will be at Hotel Decca which is within walking distance of the University of Washington. All travel related expenses (airfare, accommodation, ground transportation and per diem) for your visit are covered by Partnership for Innovative Medical Education in Kenya, a grant funded by PEPFAR and the US National Institutes of Health”. 

8. Conflict of Interest by VC Relative of University Health Services 

Catherine Mawia Musyoka, a niece of the Vice Chancellor, was a clinical officer at the University Health Services until April 2015 when she was appointed to position of Alcohol and Drug Abuse Coordinator. She is said to have used her position to benefit herself. She is alleged to have been influencing referrals to an Alcohol and Drug Rehabilitation  facility at Syokimau, Mlolongo in which she holds interests. The University was to pay her firm Fountain of Hope Treatment Centre Sh1,306,201. Sh399,000 was already paid. Even when the Chief Security Officer, confirmed the conflict of interest, the surcharge is yet to be made and no disciplinary action to date has been commenced. Please confirm why. When reached on phone for clarification Ms Musyoka, declined to confirm or deny the allegations.

9. Huge Telephone Bills By the Vice Chancellor 

It is striking that the Vice Chancellor spends as much as Sh333,181 on phone. This is an example of how much he spent between October 1 – 31, 2015 on his personal line 0721214*** with roaming charges amounting to Sh253,624.87. This can only confirm that the Vice Chancellor spends too much time out of the country and or that he hardly delegates to the extent that he must be called on every occasion by too many staff. In the event his instruction limiting the DVC(A&F) to Sh100,000 approvals, does again expect himself to approve outrageous telephone bills of Sh333,181 on personal phone to himself?

10. Double Standards in Handling Staff Welfare Issues 

The unceremonial termination of duties by the Vice Chancellor (personally) on Chief Legal Officer Rebecca Ngondo; Chief Internal Auditor Peter Igiria and Finance Officer Michael Karue is in sharp contrast how the questionable contract extension for Dean of Students Dr (Fr) Wamugunda was handled.
On January 5, 2015 DVC (AA) Prof Henry W. Mutoro asked Dr (Fr) Wamugunda to retire by July 9, 2016 owing to his attainment of the 60 years mandatory retirement age. In unclear circumstances, the Vice Chancellor received a fresh memo from Administration Registrar (a G.P Mbugua) requesting him to approve an additional 10 years so Dr (Fr) Wamugunda retires at 70 years. In essence Mbugua went against his own recommendation – of September 5, 2015 then addressed to DVC (A&F). Note that his latest memo was addressed directly to the Vice Chancellor.
As expected, the Vice Chancellor swiftly “approved” the same on March 9, 2015. In a fairly embarrassing development, DVC (AA) Prof Henry W. Mutoro turned against his letter of January 5, 2015 and re-addressed Dr (Fr) Wamugunda on March 17, 2015 under Ref: CN/17695/173 this time claiming thus:
“After due consideration, and owing to the teaching workload you are engaged in, it has been decided (by the Vice Chancellor) that your retirement age shall be seventy (70) years. Therefore you will retire from the service of the University of Nairobi on July 9, 2026 and not July 9, 2016 as earlier communicated”.

11. Tender for Outsourcing Private Security Services 

Tender was awarded at a cost of Sh6,990, 000 per month to Lavington Security Ltd on September 30, 2015. This was immediately varied by 74.5% to Sh12,200,000 per month. The maximum allowable variation is 10%. 

12. Award of Fire Insurance Cover Tender to Amaco Insurance 

On October 14, 2014 UoN Tender Committee awarded various companies. They were however cancellations on allegations that there was a leakage of awards and existing firms were extended to continue up to October 31, 2014. At this point then DVC (A&F) and current Vice Chancellorwas Chairman of Central Tender Committee. At this point Amaco Insurance was not listed because it had been discovered that one of the its’ directors was a member of the Kenya Universities and Colleges Placement Board. The tender was re-advertised. A technical evaluation was done by a Committee chaired by George Omondi. It was later presented to Tender Committee chaired by Prof Peter Kobonyo which awarded the tender to Kenyan Alliance insurance companyfor Sh31 million. It is alleged the Vice Chancellor declined to sign the offer/award letter and reportedly summoned the Technical Evaluation Committee to repeat the evaluation . The award was made to Amaco Insurance.
CONCLUSION
Even as the UoN Council has showed excessive enthusiasm in acting against its’ DVC (A&F), it is evident that it continues to turn a blind eye to the massive governance, corruption and other related scandals. It is on this basis that note as follows;

• A comprehensive response on the matters raised herein (please not that they are not exhaustive)
• That the University of Nairobi be notified that Cofek may proceed to Court, at its’ discretion, if it concludes that the University Vice Chancellor and Chairman of Council continues to remain uncooperative – in their evident unwillingness to respond to our calls
• That University of Nairobi is not exempt from the rule of law and in particular Articles 4(2), 10, 35, 46, 75 and 232 and indeed the entire Constitution.
• That the University procurement, tendering and staff welfare matters ought to undergo an independent forensic audit. 

By copy, the Cabinet Secretary for Education is requested to note and act accordingly. Thank you.
*********
For the record, Cofek office received a call from one John Orindi styling claiming to be University of Nairobi Public Relations Officer (never mind his bad personal PR) demanding to know the mandate of Cofek. He was asked to request his seniors to respond to our letter of May 30, 2016
VIA
COFEK KENYA

HILLARIOUS FACTS ABOUT BABU OWINO

Some facts of Hon Babu Owino:
1 - when he was 10ys, Babu decided to live
by himself. And his parents just moved to
another house.
2 - Babu lost the virginity even before his
parents.
3 - some day Babu did a test in a lie detector
machine. The machine confessed everything.
4 - when Babu was young, his parents used
to sleep on his bed when they were scared.
5 - When Babu goes to your place to visit
you, you're the guest.
6- the father's name of Babu is Babu
Junior.
7 - someday Babu passed a red light and the
police stopped his car. Babu charged the
police.
8 - Babu helped the nurses when he was
born.
9 - Babu never lies. The truth is that is
wrong.
10 - when Alexander Graham Bell created the
telephone, he already had three missed calls
of Babu .
11- The oxygen needs Babu to survive.
12 - is impossible to Babu to have a heart
attack. Nothing is stupid enough to attack
Babu .
13 - In the school teachers used to raise the
hand to talk with Babu .
14 - someday Babu missed two days in a row
in the school. Later on, these days were called
Saturday and Sunday.
15 - someday Babu arrived late in the school.
The other students were penalised because
they arrived too early.

VIA 

HABI ERIDAFOCE

WAS IT GOING TO BE A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY CITY PASTOR counting heavy losses after losing battle for Uhuru Park Posted on Jun 2, 2016

Nairobi preacher Lucy wa Ngunjiri is coming to terms with the cost of losing a protracted battle with Opposition leaders over the use of Uhuru Park on Madaraka Day.
The preacher, who doubles up as a vernacular radio presenter at Kameme FM, had spent heavily to book and prepare the venue for a prayer rally organised by her Prayers Beyond Boundaries Ministries.
But the Nairobi City County government nullified her booking at the last minute despite receiving payment for the venue and issuing a receipt.
County Secretary Dr Robert Ayisi later explained that the church had paid the money before their request could be formally approved. He said Cord was the one granted official permission to use the venue for their Madaraka Day rally.
“She booked this venue in early May and everything was going on as planned until the Cord politicians came in with force to disrupt all this,” Kiharu MP Irungu Kang’ata had said on Thursday in support of the church.
Tanzanian gospel musician Rose Muhando was among a group of foreign and local based artistes who had confirmed attendance at the event.
Preacher Lucy wa Ngunjiri had also partly paid several service providers, including security personnel, ushers and decorators who were to set up and prepare the dias.
The National Security Advisory Committee at one point banned the planned Uhuru Park rally citing security threats posed by the double booking of the venue by Cord and the Prayer Beyond Boundaries Ministries.
Government spokesman Eric Kiraithe explained that the decision to ban the rally was meant to ensure public safety in Nairobi and across the country .

Raila meets Uhuru at State House over IEBC (VIDEOS)

Cord leaders are meeting with President Uhuru Kenyatta at State House over the IEBC stalemate.
The meeting which is currently ongoing is expected to focus on resolving whether IEBC commissioners should be removed from office.
It will also determine whether Cord's planned Madaraka Day rally in Uhuru Park will take place on Wednesday.
The meeting initiated by the President will feature Cord members led by their co-principal, Raila Odinga and Moses Wetang'ula. Wiper leader Kalonzo Musyoka is in China.
On Monday, the coalition filed a petition to be allowed to hold their rally. Justice George Odunga will hear the petition this afternoon.
Last week, Cord temporarily suspended demonstrations against the IEBC and issued a 10 day ultimatum for the government to respond to dialogue calls.

But the government ruled out the possibility of discussions with the opposition over the reconstitution of the electoral body.
Uhuru said removal of IEBC officers can only be undertaken within the confines of the law.
Cord wants IEBC commissioners out of office before the 2017 general elections.
Last Monday, three people died in Siaya and Kisumu following confrontations between police and protesters.
Heads of foreign missions said Kenyans must take every opportunity for inclusive dialogue on the IEBC stalemate.
The envoys said dialogue was necessary in order to solve the current standoff between the government and the opposition.

KISUMU COUNTY COMMANDER GETS PROMOTION AFTER KILLING LUOS

Kisumu County Commander Nelson Njiiri has been promoted and transferred to the Kenya Airports Authority as a security manager.
The position was formerly held by the now government spokesperson Eric Kiraithe. Mr Njiiri was transferred barely a week after a man was shot dead during anti-IEBC protests in Kisumu. Police, however, immediately denied shooting the man and insisted that he had fallen down and suffered head injuries on May 23. However, a post-mortem report showed that Fredrick Otieno died of gunshot wounds.

According to the report, one bullet entered Mr Otieno's body through the upper left arm, ripped through his thorax, tore vital blood vessels, collapsed his lung and stopped in his upper right arm. Mr Njiiri has been replaced by Mwea East OCPD Titus Yoma. Mr Yoma has been replaced in Mwea by Athi River OCPD Kizito Mutoro. The new Athi River boss is Sharma Boy while another senior officer, Aron Moriasi, has been moved to Samia from Ijara.
In August last year, Mr Njiiri was transferred from Kisumu to Kajiado but he did not report. He was to be replaced by then Nairobi Deputy County Commander Joseph Limo. Mr Limo, however, was later transferred to the Criminal Registry Office at the Directorate of Criminal Investigations headquarters.

TYPES OF SPONSORE AND HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM

The term “sponsor” is a colloquial expression among the young, used to refer to older and more financially stable men and women whom young people date, chiefly for financial gain.

 Below are the types of SPONSORS

1. Total sponsor
He buys you a car, a house, and registers them in your name, pays your bills and even supports your kids that are not his. Will never spend a whole night in your house. Often takes you on holiday outside the country. Mostly tycoons and prominent politicians aged over 50 years. Will have three more concubines besides you.
2. Medium Sponsors
Will buy you a car and house but registers them in his names. Supports the kid he has with you and pays your bills. Will take you for a holiday at the coast or Zanzibar. He appears in your house only over the weekend and during the late hours. Can be aged 45 to 55 years.
3. Small Sponsors
Mostly wannabe tender-prenuers, yuppies and young professionals who take you to Naivasha and Mombasa while on work. Will pick you and drop you off in their cars. Will fuel your car and take you shopping provided they bang you there-after.
Have a wife who they adore but need your presence to reassure themselves.
4. Mini/Micro Sponsors
Will take you to rave in K1, Roadhouse, etc bang you the whole night and still go to their regular chic/wife. Will only contact you when they have a windfall or end month.

SEX!!!!!!!! Cures CancerSTUDY REVEALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The professionals have actually been making use of a lot of their time looking for brand-new option to the issues that the culture is dealing with now.

 Particularly when it involves illness. They are continuously looking for brand-new manner in which could be reliable as well as effective for all individuals.

Did you know that eating a female’s personal body organ could conserve you from deadly conditions such as cancer cells and also cardiovascular disease?
Basing on the research study that was made in the State College of New York city, one of the most vital dish that a guy need to take is consuming a vaginal area.
The bodily hormones such as the DHEA Hormonal agents as well as Oxytocin are being generated whenever cunnilingus takes place. These hormonal agents can protect against cancer cells to a person.

This act does not just please the urges of males and female however additionally assists enhance the health and wellness problem of a person.
It is a means of taking pleasure in the satisfaction while having health and wellness advantages.
So the following time that you question concerning decreasing on a female, makes certain to maintain every one of these points in your mind.
This is not just for your safety and security however likewise for the satisfaction of your body.

PRESS BRIEFING BY GOVERNMENT SPOKESMAN ON THE OVERTHROWING OF GOVERNMENT

Good afternoon;
Thank you all for coming. I have a number of issues to tackle today.
Let me begin on a positive note. As you all know, this Wednesday Kenya marks 53 years of internal self-rule. Madaraka Day is a time for national pride and patriotism. It is an opportunity to collectively consider where we have come from, celebrate our progress, reflect on the challenges we continue to face and renew our commitment to building a peaceful and prosperous nation.
The President will on Wednesday join citizens in commemorating this important national event, while presiding over celebrations that will held at Afraha Stadium in Nakuru. Every effort has been made to ensure a successful event. The grounds have been readied, the area has been well-secured and measures have been effected to ensure the organised flow of traffic. Our armed forces have also rehearsed and are ready for the celebratory parade as well as the President’s inspection. The Government wishes to invite all citizens to share in the festivities of that day, and to assure any citizen who choses to travel to Nakuru that we are committed to ensuring their safety both during their travel and at the event.
The public is also advised that concurrent celebrations will be held at county and sub-county efforts for those who are unable to attend the Nakuru event. In Nairobi, the county-level celebrations will take place in Starehe Constitutency at Pumwani Secondary School. Across the country, each sub-county will host similar celebrations and will communicate details regarding the whereabouts of these events.
The Government is pleased to partner with County Governments to host these events and looks forward to receiving the general public as we all celebrate Madaraka Day together.
Now, allow me to address a different but related issue regarding two other activities taking place on Wednesday.
We are aware that there has been significant confusion about who shall or will be holding an event this Wednesday at Uhuru Park. We can confirm that through an unfortunate administrative oversight both CORD and a religious group know as Prayer Beyond Boundaries Ministries managed to reserve the premises. This otherwise minor, logistical issue has regrettably become somewhat contentious and taken on unnecessary political dimensions. Consequently, the National Security Advisory Committee convened earlier today to evaluate the security threats emanating from a double booking of the grounds. Following lengthy deliberations, they decided upon the following:
First, it was decided that neither of the parties who had reserved the premises will be permitted to use the grounds on the material day. Both parties are therefore hereby requested to reorganise their activities accordingly.
Second, it was decided that the Nyayo Stadium shall remain closed on Wednesday and no functions will be held there.We regret the inconvenience caused to those affected, but thank the public in advance for their compliance with these provisions which, in the considered view of the committee, are in the interest of public safety. Indeed, we reaffirm our commitment to ensuring public safety, across the country both on Wednesday and otherwise.
With that said, I must now turn our attention to an emerging issue of grave concern to the Government and of the utmost National concern. Investigations into recent political activity have yielded intelligence to the effect that there are individuals within the country who are working with two neighbouring countries to subvert the Government and create conditions of instability, insecurity, lawlessness and strife. The Government considers these contemptible undertakings to be a betrayal of Kenya and Kenyans. These are acts of treason. Any person who collaborates with an enemy of Kenya is also an enemy of Kenya and will be met with the swift, full and unmitigated wrath of the law. In due course the Government will be revealing the results of our investigations, and unmasking these despicable traitors.
We urge public patience in this matter and promise to be uncompromising in our quest for national security.

TEN RECORDS CHRISTIANO RONALDO CR7 HAS MADE

 

 

10.Two consecutive seasons with over 40 league goals!

The Portuguese became first player to reach 40 league goals in two consecutive seasons when he scored 40 for Real Madrid in 2010–11 and 46 goals in the following campaign (2011–12).

9.First Player to score in every minute of a game

Cristiano Ronaldo made himself the first player to score in every minute of a game when he netted in the seventh minute of Real Madrid’s 2-0 win against rivals Atletico Madrid in February, 2013.

But later in September, 2014, Zlatan Ibrahimovic joined the Portuguese on the list of only two players to score in every minute of a football match after strike that made him Sweden’s all-time top goalscorer.

8. Only Player to win everything witRonaldo is the only player to have won the league, domestic cup, League Supercup, Player of the Year Award, Golden Boot, Ballon d’Or, Champions League and Club World Cup with two different clubs (achieved in Manchester United and Real Madrid) as he repeated it again on Saturday 28, 2016 in Milan.h two different clubs

7.Only player to score three Champions League finals with two different clubs

  Three time Ballon d’Or holder set the record of being the only player in history to have scored in three Champions League finals. He did it in Moscow when Manchester United won the match on 6-5 penalties following a 1–1 draw after extra time.

The Portuguese international did the same during 2013-14 season at the Estádio da Luz in Lisbon, Portugal, when he scored the fourth goal in their 4-1 win over their capital rivals Atletico Madrid.

Finally, the 31-year-old did it on Saturday 28, 29016 at San Siro Stadium in Milan, Italy, where he scored the last penalty helping Real Madrid to extend their record number of European Cup/Champions League titles to 11.

4.Only player to score more than 50 goals in six consecutive seasons

Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo reached another milestone at the end of this outgoing season of becoming first player to score 50 in six straight seasons.

2010-11: 53 goals

2011-12: 60 goals

2012-13: 55 goals

2013-14: 51 goals

2014-15: 61 goals

2015-16: 51 goals

3.First player to become European top scorer in two Leagues

Ronaldo is the first and only player to have won the European Golden Shoe in 2 different leagues (Premier League with Manchester United and La Liga with Real Madrid).

2.Most goals scored in a single UEFA Champions League season

Ronaldo holds the record for most goals scored in a single UEFA Champions League season, having scored 17 goals in the 2013–14 season.

1.First and only player to win European Golden Boot four times!

Cristiano Ronaldo was awarded the European Golden Boot in the years 2008, 2011, 2014, and 2015, and is the only player in history to have won the European Golden Boot four times.

VIA SOKKA

 

REVEREND NGUNJIRI CLEARS THE AIR ON UHURU PARK ISSUE

There has been a constant choreographed wrangles between CORD and the Evangelist over the use of Uhuru Park during the Madaraka Day Celebrations that has caused trepidation as The CORD fraternity maintains that they will be At Uhuru Park on the same date that Evagelist Lucy Ngunjiri  also claims to have paid for earlier on
The Evangelist who says has no political affiliation has left many surprised as new research shows that she is a member of Kameme FM staff which is a gikuyu vernacular radio station.This is the post she made to clear the air over her stand on Uhuru Park

"As long as Raila Odinga and his supporters will be at Uhuru park I will not be there. I don't want to fight for myself the battle belongs to the Lord. I had all the receipts and believed I also have a constitutional right to use the ground but since I want to safeguard the integrity of the church, I do request the church faithfuls that we do gather at (PBB) church where we shall conduct our prayers. I had targeted the Uhuru park stadium to accommodate many Christians but all the same God does not move with multitude" - Rev Lucy Wa Ngunjiri

Surely the battle belongs to the Lord and not even Major-General Joseph Nkaissery and his officers can prevail in this battle but the victory will be very decisive."

 The cabinet secretary for internal security GEN NKAISSERY has also maintained that he will arrest Raila and CORD LEADERS if he dares go to UHURU PARK on the same date of MADARAKA DAY.

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KIDERO BUSTS JUBILEE PLAN TO DENY CORD UHURU PARK MADARAKA DAY RALLY

Nairobi Governor Evans Kidero has rubbished claims by the police that Uhuru Park had been booked until June 1, therefore blocking CORD from holding its Madaraka Day rally at the venue.
In a statement, Kidero clarified that the Opposition had already been authorised by the Nairobi County Government to proceed with their meeting at the venue, adding that the whole issue had been politicised.
“The Nairobi City County Government, the trustees and custodians of Uhuru Park, are not interested in any confusion or politics of grandstanding,” Kidero stated.
According to a letter signed by County Secretary Robert Ayisi, the Director for Environment Water and Energy was instructed to reserve Uhuru Park for CORD on June 1 as earlier requested
Police had released a different statement on Friday notifying the Opposition that it was impossible for it to hold the meeting at the contentious venue.
“Please be informed that the venue, Uhuru Park is already booked for three days by prayers Beyond Boundaries Ministries. Your notification of participation on Madaraka day at the same venue is, therefore, not approved,” read the police letter in part.
Last week CORD announced that it would be holding a rally at Uhuru Park to address issues of national importance, at the same time the Madaraka Day celebrations would be going on at Nakuru's Afraha Stadium.
Among the matters to be discussed is the disbandment of the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC).

WHAT PEOPLE THINKS OF MALE NURSE

Eric Martin
 So true and to think male nurses were the first nurses and since Florence(who I think did great things to advance nursing) nursing has become a female profession. As a male nurse, we can't get cool scrubs, shoes, or accessories like the ladies can. But they always love us when that crazy psych pt wants to fight. Lol
 Aeja Lampley
 Male nurses bring balancein the workplace lol with the ladies catfighting I need a buddy on nights to keep the good vibes going. All the male nurses I've encountered have been a pleasure to work with.
 Jeanne Rowell
  I work in a PACU .. we just brought on a male nurse .. hallelujah!! I actually laughed out loud because the dynamics have changed SO much!! 5 women and one man .. it's awesome. Thank God for Male Nurses .. and they can lift heavy stuff!! 😊
 

Shannan Flaherty

 Our male nurses are some of the best nurses ever... they need more credit!!! I work with some amazing men!!

 Noreen Allen

 Men who are nurses are unique. They probably know more than the average man about what makes women tick. I have always appreciated their viewpoint, their reasoning skills, and their physical contributions to the team effort. God bless the male nurses!

 Lindsey Jeanette

 To be honest, this is offensive to me. Nursing is one of the hardest professions out there, we need more male nurses. Their job isn't really any different than ours is.

 

IS KIBAKI SOON GOING?

Former President Mwai Kibaki’s longtime friend Emmanuel Karanja Mwangi was buried on  Friday at Chinga village in Othaya Nyeri County in a ceremony attended by hundreds of people and political leaders.
Mr Mwangi was Mr Kibaki’s trusted friend for a long time whom he had entrusted to run the Constituency Development Fund (CDF) in Othaya office for 10 years during his tenure as the president.
Because Mr Kibaki was still MP for Othaya between 2002 and 2013, he had bestowed most of his responsibilities to Mr Mwangi in running the constituency.
In a speech read on his behalf by the Othaya county commissioner Mr Steven Kamande, Mr Kibaki eulogized Mr Mwangi as a remarkable patriarch and a hero.
Mr Kibaki described Mr Mwangi as a man who truly belonged to a rare breed of men who possess the unique talent of mixing politics, business and leadership in social endeavors without losing an edge on any of them.
He said Mr Mwangi was the ultimate portrait of a self-made man who pulled himself by the bootstraps to become one of the most visible, accomplished and successful sons of Othaya, Nyeri and indeed Kenya.
FIRST PUBLIC SPEECH
“His tenure and contribution as a political leader was marked by wisdom and unprecedented ability to reconcile and consolidate of the entire leadership of Othaya,” the former president said.
Mr Kibaki said as a champion of social development, the late Mr Mwangi stood out in his remarkable management of Othaya’s Constituency Development Fund (CDF).
“Of my many friends and acquaintances in Othaya and Nyeri as a whole, few have etched a legacy as huge and evident as the late Mr Mwangi. That is why the death of Emmanuel Karanja Mwangi brings to my mind not just fond memories, sorrow and nostalgia but also profound reflections of a life fully lived,” added Mr Kibaki.
This was the first public speech by Mr Kibaki since the burial of his late wife the Mama Lucy Kibaki.
Mama Lucy died on April 26 from an undisclosed illness at a London hospital and was buried at the former First Family’s home in Othaya on May 7.
Mr Kamande said Mr Kibaki was not able to attend the burial due to unavoidable circumstances.
MAJOR PROJECTS
Other political leaders present at the burial mass at St Joseph’s Catholic Church Gichichi in Othaya were Starehe MP Maina Kamanda and Othaya MP Mary Wambui.
They both remembered Mr Mwangi for being a close confidant of the former president and for the work he did when he was Othaya CDF chair.
“The projects started by Mr Kibaki under the CDF chaired by Mr Mwangi are not white elephants, we have completed some, while others are in their completion stage,” said Ms Wambui.
Among other projects which Mr Mwangi will be remembered of is chairing the campaign on HIV/Aids awareness. He also chaired several political parties including KANU, NARC and PNU in Othaya and Nyeri.
Mr Mwangi died while undergoing treatment at the Aga Khan Hospital in Nairobi on May 19.
via

NAIROBI NEWS

POST MORTEM REPORT: This is what killed the Man who died in KISUMU During #CORD DEMOS

A man who died during recent protests in Kisumu was shot in the chest, a post-mortem report has now revealed.
Contrary to police reports that Fredrick Otieno died in a stampede and the hospital’s version that he died after hitting his head on the pavement, the post-mortem report carried out by a private professional hired by Mr Otieno's family showed that a bullet was retrieved from his body. The autopsy was conducted yesterday at Aga Khan Hospital in Kisumu in the presence of the family, police representatives, officials from the Independent Police Oversight Authority and ODM officials. Kisumu Central ODM chairman Seth Adui Kanga, one of the witnesses, said the man was shot by the police.
Aga Khan Hospital Kisumu Medical Director Sam Oula on Monday had ruled out the possibility that Mr Otieno succumbed to a gunshot wound, stressing that they had checked the body thoroughly and did not find any form of gun wound. The family of Mr Otieno, who was an electrician, had on Wednesday demanded to know why the police and the hospital concealed the cause of his death.

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Riots As Police Shoot School Girl In The Head

A prison warder has shot and critically injured a secondary school student in Migori
The girl reportedly from St. Albert’s Ulanda Girls was shot in the head  when the prison warders were pursuing an escaped inmate.
The incident has immediately sparked riots in Migori town.
The form two students was watching a handball game at the Migori Boys’ Secondary School.
Area MP Junet Mohamed has condemned the incident describing it as despicable and inexcusable.
Junet has called for quick action against the warder
“The little we expect is that thorough investigations be done and those found to have abdicated their roles to face the full force of the law,” he said.
“We continue to urge law enforcement agencies particularly in Nyanza to temper their use of lethal force with reason and moderation,” he added.


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FUNNY:: WENGER REACTS TO MOURINHO'S MANAGERIAL AT MAN UNITED

Arsene wenger is the first EPL Manager to make a comment on the appointment of Jose Mourihno as Van Gaal's successor.
Speaking in france, ahead of the EUROS, where several of his players will be involved, Wenger said
'I look forward to it (our rivalry). we have not the nicest relationships of all Managers but He is a top manager. he is at the right club, no doubt about that. I look forward to facing Manchester united.'
Arsene Wenger is yet to defeat Jose Mourihno in his career, asked if he can finally beat the special one, Wenger said.
'Am more than determined to beat him, last time I was so close to beating him up but the fourth official came and separated us. I hear he has been attending several boxing events, learning a few boxing tricks, but am not scared about him.'
asked whether he can beat him inside the pitch, Wenger said,
' I don't think if that can happen, I have failed to achieve that in my last 17 attempt, I don't think that will happen, especially now that he has joined Manchester united.'
This is sarcasm banter cynicism and the writer of this blog will not be held responsible of the outcome

THIS ARE THE MAFISI SCREEN SHOTS TRENDING ON TWITTER TAGGED GIKUNDA

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Social media is one place you really don’t want to be trolled from. One Evans Gikunda has fallen victim and screenshots of him boasting about all the women he has laid exposed. According to the exposure, one Elixir, twitter name @Elixir254 decided to expose the  screenshots after the latter failed to give him money he owed
Here are the Screen Shots.

COMEDIAN YY: SPORTPESA IS LIKE HOUSEMADE THAT.................. #BETCRAZE

Sports betting like in sportpesa, mcheza etc is very addictive and tempting. I'd compare it to having a very beautiful mboch, with good thighs like chicken of KFC, and who always wears short skirts and only washes the house in your presence, to intentionally tempt you by swinging sudus side to side as she washes. Thats what sportpesa does by giving you very tempting odds and flashing the jackpot banner each time you open their site, to tempt you to betting. Now for both sportpesa and the mboch, you'll never have any problems until you make a move. For the mboch, the day you start 'borrowing' her and you end up tasting canaan, you will never stop because as they say, stolen food is always sweeter. Also, whenever you try quitting, she will keep giving you a funny look infront of your wife, and you will fear she might 'sell' you 'rife rife' like mandathi by the roadside..so you'll continue. Let me tell you its equally hard to quit sportpesa, its like they bewitch you. Each time you try quitting, you hear of a friend who won sijui 10 sausand yesterday, mara you see a jackpot winner on tv..and so you go back to trying. In the end, sportpesa ends up making a lot of profits from you, enough to sponsor two teams and the KPL, while you are told to go drying. Similarly, if you have an affair with the mboch, eventually she will trick you to see canaan with 'naked eyes' and you will score a hat trick without the goalkeeper trying to make any save..mostly they get twins btw. And because satan does not eat ugali, your wife will know..and that my guy is when you'll know what is Maendeleo ya wanawake and FIDA because they'll take you faster than the miraa Hilux. And if the wife is from Kafete, you might as well argue your case infront of St Peter 'rife rife' at the heaven gates..women from Kafete dont take hostages..
So in short, avoid starting any of the two..
Juu ya hiyo stori, kuna game iko hapa nashuku sijui ni ya Saudi Arabia iko na odds poa sana..wacha niwekelee mia nipate ya kufika kibanda kupepeta madondo.

ROBERT MUGABE 2016 QUOTES

Another round of quotes from Uncle Bob that will leave you in stitches. Eloquent and never afraid to speak his mind regardless of who he is adressing. Africa will surely remember Robert Mugabe.

1) "Some women's legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading".
2) "It's hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire".
3) "If you are ugly; you are ugly - stop talking about inner beauty because we don't walk around with X-rays".
4) "Dear sister, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining. You are not an umbrella".
5) "Check your girlfriend's body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.
6) "Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face".
7) "It's better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn't even drill it herself.
8) "Some of you girls can't even jog
for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade".
9) "If your girlfriend/boyfriend has not taken a picture with you before just make that request and stop forcing Photo Grid to bring you together.
10) "God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker".
11) "If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Penis in public."But this time he hits the jackpot...

12) "Swimming pool is much more useful than the Liverpool football club".

The phrases 'team mafisi' use to lure girls so easily

It is not safe to go home alone”
He invited you to his home. You have been begging him all day that you want to leave as soon as the sun sets. He had you thinking that he enjoys your company yet you have always been brushed off as the boring, quiet type by your peers. One more hour and he will allow you to leave, he promised.
8pm, 9.45pm... 11pm and the script changes. You can only leave in the morning because he lost his cab guy’s phone number and he does not trust any other. “There could be muggers waiting for girls like you.”
“I would love to cook for you”
Women love the thought of a man in the kitchen preparing a meal. Men know this. And what a classic, inviting you to his home this way. Not many women can say no to this.
Watching an explicit movie
A guy will invite you to his home and psyches you up that he has a great movie collection and he insists that he should be the one to select one. He already knows this one has intense sexual scenes. When that moment arrives, he keenly studies your mood and asks sexual questions, like telling him your sexual fantasies in full details. And his just happens to be about having a romp with a hot girl on his sofa while a romantic movie is playing.
“Can’t touch a woman when she is asleep”
Well, at first he pretended that he wasn’t interested in touching you till you dozed off next to him. He only needed to be next to you to perform his trick. He will wake you up in the middle of the night, and wake up and say things like “I cannot take it anymore. I need you right now.”
“You will sleep on my bed, I will have the sofa”
Believe this lie and in the middle of the night you will have company. He will complain how he is too tall he cannot fit well at the sofa or it is too cold in the living room. He will later get closer and closer to you and will complain how it is cold in the bedroom too and needs some warmth.
 A similar version is the “I have slept in the same bed with a girl and nothing happened”. Trust me, something will happen.
“You are the best I have ever had”
This is when he got lucky with you a few times and you are not in the mood that night or you are not feeling him anymore. To get you into his bed again, this and “no one does it like you” is the trick.
“You look like a girl who likes to have fun”

He will start by telling you how he hates uptight girls, girls who are too serious with life. He will express admiration to those who are willing to take a risk, to enjoy life, YOLO all the way. Then tells you that you are the kind of a girl who likes to have a fun.
“I will make sure you won’t get drunk”
A man guy wants to take you home that night will want you to loosen up. And when he sees his charm has not worked on you at all, he can buy every bottle at the club - some call it ‘chemical warfare - and still find a way to convince you that he has made it his first priority to make sure you don’t get drunk.
Once you fall for this trick, he will quickly create a drinking game, like, a gulping competition and as you clear the table, he is on his second glass. He will keep his eyes on the prize, staring into your lazy eyes.

ITS OFFICIAL;GAMBLERS WILL HAVE TO WATCH THESE ADVERTS AT 10PM TO 5AM #BETCRAZE

The Kenya Film Classification Board (KFCB) is pushing for restrictions on when gambling companies can advertise their products in order to protect gullible youth from exploitation.

KFCB CEO Ezekiel Mutua said the board will seek to have betting adverts restricted to the non-watershed period from 10PM to 5.00AM as a way of protecting youth from joining the betting craze that has gripped the country.

He said it was unfair for the betting companies to advertise their products as if gambling was an investment, saying the marketing approach sent the wrong signal to young people that money can be made without working.

“Come 1st July, we are going to strictly enforce the law. Betting and gambling licences will not be issued. Anybody going there now will have to use the classification guidelines and sign that adverts that are promoting betting and gambling will not be shown during the water schedule,” said Mutua.

The sport betting craze has been taking the country by storm and over 2 million betters spending millions in a game of chance.

The betting industry in Kenya, which was valued at around 1.8 billion shillings in 2014, is projected to grow to  about 7.5 billion shillings  in 2018.

NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER FOR IEBC AS TWO SHOT CORD DIEHARDS VOWS TO GO BACK TO THE PICKETING ON MONDAY

Two protesters shot in the chest by police have vowed to go back to the streets on Monday if the electoral commission officials do not resign.
Mr Felix Oduor, 21, and 28-year-old Fidelis Opiyo were some of the protesters shot on Monday in Siaya County. Mr Opiyo said they were peacefully protesting when the police used excessive force on them. The police, however, said the demonstrators threw stones at them. Mr Oduor said all they wanted is for the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission to be reconstituted.

The deputy medical superintendent at Jaramogi Oginga Odinga Teaching and Referral Hospital, Dr Dan Raburu, said the eight victims of the demos were critical but stable after surgery to remove the bullets. He said five were referred from Siaya and three from Kisumu. In Migori, police have opened an inquiry into the shooting of four men and a woman during the protests. County Police Commander David Kirui said they were collecting evidence to establish whether the shootings were “justified or not”.